Rustlers The Smokey Barbecue

Rustlers The Smokey Barbecue Review

Rustlers The Smokey Barbecue:

What they say:

A stonking burger smothered in delicious BBQ sauce topped off with crispy onions and served of a sweet brioche bun.

Price: £1.50.

Calories: 640 kcal.

Rustlers have rebranded the XL Smokey as The Smokey Barbecue and stuck a ‘New’ label on it.

Rustlers Smokey XL

Rustlers? Are you sure BL®?

Let me explain…

I was at a quandary regarding my lunch choices (and where I am today there are not many options):

McDonald’s? Couldn’t be bothered.
Homemade Gordon Ramsay Spicy Beef Curry leftovers? Meh.
Chinese/Thai Ready meal. Blah.

Somehow a voice inside my head persuaded me to get a Rustlers. I don’t know why… I can’t explain it.

I’d seen them on a promotional end in Tesco (one ‘S’) for £1 each (the regular Cheeseburger or new Southern Fried Chicken thing). Didn’t fancy the mayo on the latter so picked up the Cheeseburger.

“Just walk past the rest of the range and see if there is anything new. You could review it.”

There on the shelf was the “new” Smokey Barbecue – on offer from £2.50 to £1.50.

“F**k it” I’ll have that then.

Rustlers Smokey XL

Rustlers Smokey XL

More thoughts filled my head as I pondered my lunch decision.

Did the Gourmet Burgers get discontinued or did they evolve to the XL range? Are the XL now re-branded? The packaging still has XL on it as a watermark. Does it even matter anymore…!?

Too many questions to answer in the time it took for the microwave to go “ping”.

Rustlers Burgers

I actually didn’t think it looked “too” bad when constructing it. Well actually the patty looks flipping horrible and is so fake it is literally unreal.

What I meant to say is that I was surprised by how many crispy onions were in the little packet – that plus the cheese and the BBQ sauce might just save this?

Rustlers Gourmet

What does that wrong answer buzzer sound like again from Family Fortunes?


Rustlers The Smokey Barbecue

It’s pretty bloody horrible.

Some bites are manageable when you get the cheese. Others are a struggle.

The crispy onions and barbecue sauce save the burger about as much as the goggles saves Rainier Wolfcastle’s eyes when playing Radioactive Man.

Every mouthful is a chore. I actually think the sauce makes this more sickly than the normal Rustlers Cheeseburger.

Rustlers The Smokey Barbecue

What more can you say?

It’s a microwaveable £1.50 Rustlers burger. It can’t be good for you – at 640 calories a £1.99 Big Mac and Fries would have been a much better option for only 200 calories more.

This is so grim I actually cannot finish it and the remaining bites are consigned to the bin.

I should have gone to McDonald’s.

Next time I am in Tesco, whatever shopping I purchase, I am going to pay an additional £1.50 just to NOT have this in my trolley or basket. It’s that bad.

I had Rustlers The Smokey Barbecue for lunch today. Don’t judge me – I’m off for a shower.

Burger Lad®


The Smokey Barbecue









  • Decent portion of crispy onions


  • Fake
  • Sickly
  • Can't be good for you