Review of McDonald’s Secret Menu Mega Monster Mac
Calories: Approx 3,000 Kcal based on Monster Mac approximation.
DISCLAIMER: BURGER LAD® DOES NOT CONDONE OR ENCOURAGE THE FOLLOWING SECRET MENU ITEM – ALL STUNTS ARE PERFORMED BY HIGH CALORIE SALARY TRAINED PROFESSIONALS.
Exactly one year ago today Burger Lad® took down the Monster Mac, and finished by saying, and I quote “I can assure you right now that this time next year we will not be creating the sixteen patty version.”
But what would a sixteen patty Big Mac look like, what would it be called? These are the important questions that can only be answered at BurgerLad.com.
A Double Big Mac is also known as the Mega Mac, and of course its big brother is the Monster Mac. So, this beast ought to be called the Mega Monster Mac, and this is what it looks like.
|The Mega Monster Mac…|
Now, not being as brave as BL®, there was absolutely no way I was going to mess around with this in a branch of McDonald’s, let alone try and order it by name. This was a job for the drive-through, and a quick dash back to Frigate Burgerbar.
My methodology was this – three Big Macs, and I’d get three centre buns to space things out, creating four sections of four patties each. I might have a slim chance of this thing staying upright then. To beef up the patty count, five double cheeseburgers would be required too.
|£16.00-ish, 3,000 calories+…|
Sixteen patties, three lots of Special sauce and pickles, and absolutely tons of cheese, as well as five bun sections in total, including the top and bottom.
So that’s the plan. At the drive thru I had to park up a little bit, because there weren’t enough doubles for the order. That meant new ones, fresher and hotter and hopefully remaining so for the short drive back. When the order was brought to the car, the bag looked massive and utterly daunting.
When I got it back and unpacked eight double burgers, they more than filled the plate. I removed all the packaging and they still more than filled the plate. This was going to be a big job. Fun, tasty but difficult.
|A true Christmas platter…|
So, I set about the build. Removing patties from buns, trying to retain as much of the sauce and cheese as possible. Big Macs have that peach coloured special sauce, and doubles have a red tomato sauce. Carefully I layered section upon section when, getting to the last four patties, it became very obvious that this was not going to stand up on its own. The layers of cheese and sauce were just causing the beef to slide slowly one way, then after readjustment, slowly another way.
It wouldn’t stand up long enough to get pictures done, so I had to cheat a little bit, borrowing a nearby bottle of wine as a crutch. That did the job, and I got the pictures done. The smell at this point was extremely beefy and extremely cheesy. In fact, it had been all along, hardly surprising really.
|16 patty Mega Monster Mac…|
The other thing I’d realised as building this up was that there was absolutely no way of eating it in one go. I’d have to grab sections at a time, and that was messy.
Very messy in fact. Cheese and sauce everywhere. But different sections offered up slightly different tastes. Some were quite heavy on the pickles and Big Mac sauce, others almost entirely cheese. The lettuce, whilst apparent, added almost nothing to the taste. Really though, what chance did it have against the wall of beef and cheese.
|A Special Tower…|
I did enjoy it. It was amazingly still warm, it was very moreish, and the soft melty texture of the cheese kept the bites flowing nicely. It did actually taste of a Very Big Mac – the special sauce was evenly spread throughout, and the double cheeseburgers weren’t too wildly different to rock the taste boat.
Unsurprisingly, this burger can be described as very beefy and very cheesy. And very big. And probably very silly, but well, it is Christmas.
|Please do not try this at home…|
Merry Christmas to you all, Burger Lad® fans. I can assure you right now that this time next year we will not be creating the thirty-two patty version.